I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
