doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
