so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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