You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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