i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
