make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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