So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
