We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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