Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
