and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
In America we eat man semen.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
