She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
