Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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