Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
