We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
