giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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