9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
