He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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