i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
