Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
