Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm like, not good at living.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
