I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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