how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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