I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
