Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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