You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
