you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How's work?
Spinning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
