So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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