I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
