he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
