doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
