I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
