Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
