I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
