I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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