I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
