You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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