I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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