and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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