next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
