I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
