You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
