Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Randomize
