My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I lost the right to judge tonight
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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