I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
