I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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