She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
