Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
