I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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