scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
