question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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